I come from a low income background and had a rough start as a young adult. When we had a windfall I set aside a sum to make sure my nieces and nephews had a nest egg when they launched, so they would have a more security than I did.
My eldest nieces already received theirs, but one (age 28) has not. She has mental health issues she almost didn't survive, she has ongoing trauma from her early childhood (she was removed from her birth parents by the state), and she's autistic with ADHD, and bipolar. She is "independent" with a job and an apartment, but continues to be heavily dependent upon my brother and sister in law. Because her issues are so severe and challenging I have deferred to my brother, who does not believe she can handle this amount of money (I agree). I don't believe they hold guardianship.
Since the rest of the cousins are coming of age to receive theirs, I am increasingly uncomfortable with withholding the money designated for her, which she does not know about. Unfortunately she recently started a gofundme to fund her dream, which is pretty much the worst "blow up your fragile stability" idea ever. So I know how she will use the money if it is given to her outright. We can also predict this passion will pass once she has time to see how unrealistic it is, since that has been a pattern, but her impulsivity is severe and I can't tell if it is being complicated by mania.
What are my options for gifting money to an adult while leaving it under someone else's control? Preferably my brother (she's not stupid, she knows she needs help and she loves and trusts her parents). Also she doesn't "need" the money since my brother can afford to subsidize her. But I don't want to keep it for her, because I suspect it will trigger some of her issues if she finds out I'm giving money to her cousins but not her.
My eldest nieces already received theirs, but one (age 28) has not. She has mental health issues she almost didn't survive, she has ongoing trauma from her early childhood (she was removed from her birth parents by the state), and she's autistic with ADHD, and bipolar. She is "independent" with a job and an apartment, but continues to be heavily dependent upon my brother and sister in law. Because her issues are so severe and challenging I have deferred to my brother, who does not believe she can handle this amount of money (I agree). I don't believe they hold guardianship.
Since the rest of the cousins are coming of age to receive theirs, I am increasingly uncomfortable with withholding the money designated for her, which she does not know about. Unfortunately she recently started a gofundme to fund her dream, which is pretty much the worst "blow up your fragile stability" idea ever. So I know how she will use the money if it is given to her outright. We can also predict this passion will pass once she has time to see how unrealistic it is, since that has been a pattern, but her impulsivity is severe and I can't tell if it is being complicated by mania.
What are my options for gifting money to an adult while leaving it under someone else's control? Preferably my brother (she's not stupid, she knows she needs help and she loves and trusts her parents). Also she doesn't "need" the money since my brother can afford to subsidize her. But I don't want to keep it for her, because I suspect it will trigger some of her issues if she finds out I'm giving money to her cousins but not her.
Statistics: Posted by epilnk — Sun Sep 29, 2024 3:57 pm — Replies 5 — Views 499