Hello Bogleheads,
Over the last 15 months, my 75 year old dad has spent well over $120k on various decorative and collectible items. He has spent this money in secret without consulting my mom and his spending has left them with less than $100k of joint cash to be used for expenses (They still have about $3 million in real estate).
In March, my sister and I met with my dad and mom and discussed the following:
- We reviewed their finances and explained the need for my dad’s discretionary spending to stop until we sell one of their homes to improve cash reserves
-That as a result of my dad’s spending, they now need to follow a budget and plan for any major expenses so we can ensure they have the cash; no more secret spending
-My dad said he was “Done” spending
Last week, we discovered that he spent another $4k on his credit card. We asked him about this spending and he gave various justifications (that he didn't realize that he had to stop spending on decorative items; that he earned these things for managing an apartment property for many years).
Any suggestions on how we can control his spending? It is clear the math part is not getting through alone. It also seems that we may need assistance with addressing the emotional side–perhaps a facilitator role for family matters, who can help all family members feel heard and come to alignment on the path forward.
Thank you.
Over the last 15 months, my 75 year old dad has spent well over $120k on various decorative and collectible items. He has spent this money in secret without consulting my mom and his spending has left them with less than $100k of joint cash to be used for expenses (They still have about $3 million in real estate).
In March, my sister and I met with my dad and mom and discussed the following:
- We reviewed their finances and explained the need for my dad’s discretionary spending to stop until we sell one of their homes to improve cash reserves
-That as a result of my dad’s spending, they now need to follow a budget and plan for any major expenses so we can ensure they have the cash; no more secret spending
-My dad said he was “Done” spending
Last week, we discovered that he spent another $4k on his credit card. We asked him about this spending and he gave various justifications (that he didn't realize that he had to stop spending on decorative items; that he earned these things for managing an apartment property for many years).
Any suggestions on how we can control his spending? It is clear the math part is not getting through alone. It also seems that we may need assistance with addressing the emotional side–perhaps a facilitator role for family matters, who can help all family members feel heard and come to alignment on the path forward.
Thank you.
Statistics: Posted by reemo99 — Thu Jun 06, 2024 1:08 pm — Replies 17 — Views 1730